yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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