You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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