Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
