dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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