i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize