a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
