I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
