My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
