READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
