I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
