you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
