try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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