haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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