his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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