He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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