i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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