11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
