I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Randomize
