You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
