Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
