She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
