Buhtt sex?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
