Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize