Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
