Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
