I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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