Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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