Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
