I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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