hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize