i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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