I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
