I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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