I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize