With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
