She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
