was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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