What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
sex in a hospital.. check
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
