this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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