awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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