I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
