shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
