porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
