I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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