he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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