I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize