i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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