Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
