ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
