Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
