Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
