He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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