i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
