OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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