So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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