wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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