My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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