how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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