soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
