So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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